Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize