Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
