He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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