I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
