Tell her she can't have a vagina
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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