Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
