I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
