Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize