Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
