I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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