If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
