Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize