butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
