this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Randomize
