Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
