worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
