So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
