Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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