Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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