Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
