i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
