Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
