Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
