i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
please come you make the beer taste better
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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