It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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