omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize