Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
even my farts smell like vagina
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize