I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize