she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
