I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
fuck your aforementioned shoe
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
