He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
