Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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