I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
