none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
