When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
