4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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