I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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