my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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