Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize