kristin has been a bad kristin
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize