Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
