i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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