i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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