Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
