All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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