If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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