You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
