If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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