Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
