I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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