I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
