tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
