I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
