I want to make a zoo with you.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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