Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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