Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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