It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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