Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think people are normalizing furries
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
