FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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