i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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