Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
