im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
