Soap is not a condiment
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
