she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
