So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
