I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
