the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
