Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
there was a trapeze. enough said
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
