you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Liz is crying about burritos again.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize