Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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