how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
