good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
