White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
