My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I wish you could order shots online.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
